personal info
I'm a girl who still hasn't figured out what she wants to do with her life.

My birthday falls on the 18th Of April every single year since 1993. You do the maths.

✓ Lose weight
✓ Start sleeping early
✓ Finish my studies well
✓ Get a rich boyfriend
✓ Figure out what I want to do with my life


Keep reading if you like to hear people ranting.

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AUDITIONSEA EPIC FAM CHALLENGE
Thursday, April 26, 2012,

Been practicing couple dance 4key with Bryan for the upcoming competition in auditionSEA this SATURDAY.

Details here

Congratulations to my fellow Effusive's team members
Shin, Angellina , and my sister, Saphix.
who won the first challenge.
And Sorry that I haven't spent much time training my skills because of school.
I will train extra hard tomorrow night and saturday morning. :D
I won't let you guys down . (:
Wednesday, April 25, 2012,
Ughs, applied for FOUR ccas.
OMG AM I FXCKING CRAZY?

I don't know if I'm going crazy or I am already mad.
So anyways, the CCAs are Swimming, Cyber Gaming Club, Vocal Ensemble && Korean Speaking Class.

Crazy right?
They just appeal so much to me la. 
If I really really have to drop a CCA, hm, Swimming bah? LOL.


Also, am studying POA like a mad person!
UGHS I JUST CANT GET IT RIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
So darn irritated with myself.
Fxck. 

And I have audition competition this saturday and I have not been training because of studies.
It's a good thing, no?
NO ITS NOT BETCH.
LOL

SPAZZING , BYEE.
BULK ORDER FOR U KISS DORA DORA ALBUM [UPDATED]
Tuesday, April 24, 2012,

Bulk Order


We’ve reached over 100 orders for our DoraDora bulk order! Thank you for your interest in helping U-KISS on the charts!
Here are our finalized prices [this includes shipping]:
$15: Album [no poster]
$16: Album + folded poster
$19: Album + unfolded poster
Date of order: Thursday, May 3rd
Everyone who has sent in their order form to Jade will be emailed by us. Please get back to us with:
Name
Full address
Quantity [also specify folded/unfolded poster] 
  • In the email we will include our Paypal address, so please send your payment as soon as possible.
  • If we did not email you by Thursday April 26th, please tell us and we will get back to you.
  • Orders will still be accepted until Tuesday, May 1st. If you’d like to order through us, send an email to fyukisstumblr@gmail.com
***We require payments before the order date, otherwise your order will be cancelled. Please send your payment by Tuesday, May 1st.***

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Everything that can make me happy only lasts so long before it is gone.
I realize that anything that can make me happy has a limit, it lasts a certain amount of time before it dissipates.

And then I'm left, wondering what to do. Wait for it to come back? Or go and search for another source of happiness? I always lose track of what I want, nothing in life ever satisfies me enough. Call me selfish, but think about it. I'm only looking for a single factor. A single factor that is so hard to find, a single factor that can keep me contented enough.

The things you do and the people in your life, they're all factors that could reflect your possible happiness. It's like, every single thing in life balances your happiness and your sorrow. Life won't let have either one for too long. It's just frustrating to realize that happiness in general is really hard for me to grasp.

I just want something to stay.
Monday, April 23, 2012,
 You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me, well sentence me to another life.
I am.
When over and over that's what everyone says.
 But when all the sweet lies fade away, and we set foot on the stinky reality.
 The words were forgotten, promises made, broken.

 Where is that trust, love and harmony anymore?
 And then, blinded by another truth,
 We fail to see, we fail to love.
 We thought we loved but we're less than capable of it..

 And people always wonder why I'm single, with couples all around me breaking up..
 I'm afraid of love, aren't you?
Class 1st outing?
I wanted to blog immediately lest i forget this feeling.

Super happy today because I get to go out with my new classmates. Jocelyn, Lisa, Crystal, Irina, Ying Ying, Lucas and lastly, Wei Xuan!
Super duper thankful to WeiXuan for coming down to meet us even after tuition! He must be damn tired . And we still have school at 9am. Lol.

Anyways, every time i hang out with my new classmates, i will always remember you guys and wondering what we could have been?

Meh, no use thinking unhappy things. Being unwanted is definitely worse than being hated. At least you know the person hate you and you couldn't care less about them.
But being unwanted is looking at the face of people you love, twisting in pain as they are looking for an excuse to get away from you..

I am not happy and cheerful at all. I just don't find it legit to tell people about my problems when I don't even know how to explain them. It just doesn't seem fair to my new friends to know about people who hurt me since, apparently, I was the one who couldn't get over it.. Haha. Weird how strong I realise myself to be when I feel all bruised and ugly inside..

Ugh. Unhappy feeling aside..happy thought! Happy thoughts!

So today went vivo to watch movie with Irina and Ying^2 . I forgot to bring my movie marathon card which only costs $7.50 per person! But too bad! Forget bring den have to pay 11$ but wait! I got safra membership so only pay 9$ . Still heartpain-.-"

Watch halfway, jocelyn , crystal, and lisa come riao. Den they makan first. Met up with wei xuan and went sky garden to meet the girls. Den lucas came.

We ask the boys to say our name coz apparently they don't know which is which. ( " I don't know who the fark is this " is like, clearly written on their faces) dafugggg. But I think by the end of this outing we all is clear on who lulu is riao. Haha!

Played true or truth (new version of true or dare) coz lulu suggested a really wtf dare (of drinking the sky garden pool water) so none of us will pick 'dare'. So its a "truth only" game.

Its great since we got to know each other much MUCH better. It was even better than the orientation time because we are a smaller group, and we've gotten less shy around each other .

Most importantly, laugh till stomach pain. LOL! Not to mention the ghosts story at night! Ok, i was the one who kept telling it, even thou they dont wana listen! Hehe! I happy la ok?!

Reach home around 11am. Can die! So tired. Eat tao huey bathe and sleep. Tomorrow school at 9am!

We will be the people with panda eyes! Panda gang! Me likey ~ hahah. Good night!
Liar
Sunday, April 22, 2012,

The rule is: everyone is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we’re told. Constantly, from birth. “Honesty is the best policy.” “The truth shall set you free.” “I chopped down the cherry tree.” Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth freaking hurts. No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But here’s the truth about the truth: It hurts. So… we lie. 

不喊痛，不代表不痛；不說，不代表不在乎 

有時候....就是因為真的痛、真的在乎.....才更加沉默。
What?
Saturday, April 21, 2012,

Love me cause I don't feel loved at all.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!

& Haresh. 

& Li Yan ♥

April Eighteen Rawks ! 
Rants
Tuesday, April 17, 2012,
No one knows how hard it is walking into class and knowing people are judging you just because you're "different". (In my case, an "addicted" gamer). I thought I was the freak or the weird one, and I left in shame. But coming back to ITE in another course, and realising for the first time, that there's nothing wrong with me. It's something wrong with the thinking of you people. And I'm glad ISQ doesn't have any problems with my "gaming addiction". (Ok, maybe they have) but no one said anything ... yet. Even so, they aren't quick to judge others like you guys had.. I finally made the right choice for myself when I decided to quit ICB? :D
BULK ORDER FOR U KISS DORA DORA ALBUM

Bulk Order [Details]

Hello everyone, this is in regards to the bulk order for U-Kiss’ 6th mini album (which is set to come out soon!) We are planning to order the albums from a seller directly in Seoul. The purchase will count towards the Hanteo chart, Korea’s largest music chart, where sales reflect on all the music programs while they promote. So the more people that decide to place an order through us, the more helpful it will be!
Why we aren’t buying the albums through sites like Kpoptown, Yesasia, or DVD Heaven is something you must be wondering. Recently we learned that whether these sites count towards Hanteo is questionable. It appears that albums sold but sent to addresses outside of Korea may not count because Hanteo relies on domestic sales. We’d rather not risk the chance of our order not counting, so that is why we are purchasing the albums directly from Korea. Also, we will be placing the bulk order after their mini album is released. Pre-orders do not count either, and it’s better that we buy the albums once U-Kiss makes their comeback so we can help boost their sales for the following week.
At the moment we are still waiting for a price quote from our seller, but our estimate is about $20 for an album + poster with shipping included (price will vary once confirmed). If you are interested in taking part in our bulk order, please message Jade with the following order form.
Name:
Email:
Location:
Quantity:
Payment method: Paypal [or concealed cash for US residents only]:
After we have an idea of how many people will place their order with us, we will give an exact date for the order. We will ship internationally. Our goal is for 100 orders, but whatever we manage to get is fine as long as we can all work together to support U-Kiss!

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You know, for a long time now,
I've always wondered silently to myself, what we could have been, and how did we ended up this way.

Sometimes I even considered the possibility that I might be wrong.
And you've been the right one all along.

But I look at the people by my side now and I realised that , 
from start to end, 
I was never wrong...
I hate you for making me doubt myself.
But really, without you, I might never be who I am now.
And for that, I am thankful.

Being a gamer is what I chose, anyone who can't accept that shouldn't be in my life.
Also, you not being a gamer doesn't make you any superior than me.
And it certainly doesn't give you any rights to criticize me just because I'm "different" from you.





Monday, April 16, 2012,
안녕하셓요! ㅋㅋㅋ

It is good to belong. But don't change who you are just to belong.
I have always been true to myself. And I am not sorry for my actions.
However, I am sorry if I had hurt you.

人不为己,天诛地灭。
I know i am selfish, but karma will come for me soon.
Don't worry
Saturday, April 14, 2012,
It makes me wonder how did I end up so miserable ,
when everything could have been so perfect..

I think I've finally made a right decision in my life....

It's so awesome how we are already "us" . and everyone else is just "them". 

Today I got a really cool question in my facebook inbox. 
Someone asked me why did I use the header/ Sub-header I'm using now..

Well, I didn't really know why myself,
but after I read that question, I realized that there is a meaning to it. 
(more than just lyrics from Maroon5)

I don't know how to explain, but I'll try...

Makes Me Wonder

Life, always makes you wonder.
What ifs..
So basically this blog is for me to write down my thoughts of the day.
Or to just remember some memory, and think of the "what ifs"  and "what could have been"
or "how did I end up like this"
Just reflections..
And of course, by wondering, I can learn a lot from my past, and move on with my future.

Give me something to believe in, cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore

Basically, it just refers to people who have betrayed my trust in them
and really, just give me something to believe in.
Anything.
Because I don't want to lose trust in humans.
& I know everyone have good stuffs that I can love.

But mostly, it serves as a reminder of the hurt, and betrayals.
So I will be more weary of people.

Yeps, so that pretty much sums up your question?
thanks for asking it too.
makes me realize lots of stuff. (:



Thursday, April 12, 2012,
Guess tomorrow I have to go to school early to ask Ms Jolene about the PoA worksheet.
Confusing me max!
Don't want to do it anymore, I'll do it in school so I can ask Ms Jolene straight away.
I hate waiting around for answers to appear.
I want it right there and then.
I am a very impatient person. God forbid I be near kids .
I get super irritated.
Well, good thing I quit ICB. (probably doing those preschoolers a favor)


Really glad I don't have the "I don't wana go to school" feeling....Yet.
 Hopefully I won't have the feeling for the next few years
 Coz I really really wana get into a psychology course in poly.!

Another reason for this post is also because I wanted to clarify something.
We are just a really new class , and we just got to know each other.
So please, don't assume you know someone just because of their appearance, or because of their actions.
what they did may have offended you, but trust me, it was never intentional. 


Before spreading hate, think of how little we knew each other,
and how much longer we are gonna be together.
For once, put down your prejudices, and try to look for a good thing about him/her.
I mean, not every one is mean or nasty .
There must be traits about that person that appeals to others.

I am fairly happy with ISQ.
I don't know every one well , yet. So I can't say I love this class. 
But there is definitely no hate. I don't spread hate.
Sure, there are things that people do that annoys me or things they do that I'm not accustomed to.
But that doesn't give me a reason to gossip and spread hateful stuffs about them.
Sometimes, I just back down a little, steady myself. And I can see the nice things that make me like them. 

I mean, why hate on someone when they don't even know it??
It's like slapping yourself across the face and being angry at the person who doesn't give a shit.
(I'm not making sense aren't I?) LOL.

So anyway, make love, not war. 
Happy two years together ISQ ! ♥♥♥



Hehe, fangirlism for U-kiss!! :D

Wednesday, April 11, 2012,
I know I said I would participate more and be a little more brave for this new class.
Today, Mr Ryan wanted someone to volunteer to be the class chairperson.
But I didn't volunteer. 
Volunteering - easier said than done. 
I can't be arsed to report to school early to collect the class attendance list . 
Haha. 
Ok, if there's another stuff that I can volunteer, I'll do it. OKAYS?!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012,
* screams * 
Did this for an hour only, okays? My hand like a pain only


Lyrics from : Bingeul Bingeul (Round & Round) ~ 
(View playlist) 

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Monday, April 9, 2012,
Alrights! 

A quick post for today!
Today is my first day of orientation for biz studies ! 
My class is ISQ ~ 
Really nice class name okays ? LOLOL ;x (just some really lame inside joke)

So anyways, the class is still kinda new and awkward.. Made fast friends with some classmates. 
Let's see how it goes, hope my clique for today will never change unless you add in more people which is alright. Hahas.
Anyway, love my clique coz we're all K - crazy!! 

Updated my music player ♥
and lets show some fangirlism for U-kiss shall we??


Friday, April 6, 2012,
Happy 2nd birthday Jun Yong! .. 
Just came back from uncle's house. Super happy ;x

& tomorrow am going out with my clique from bm. hehe. Excited max!

Hmmmm, school is starting in 2 days time. ;wild. 
OH EM GEEEE ~
Reality hasn't struck me yet, I still don't feel anything. 
I guess I've had too long a holiday,
feels like nothing at all -.-''

Monday, April 2, 2012,


I'm not giving up. I'm just starting over. 

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