personal info
I'm a girl who still hasn't figured out what she wants to do with her life.

My birthday falls on the 18th Of April every single year since 1993. You do the maths.

✓ Lose weight
✓ Start sleeping early
✓ Finish my studies well
✓ Get a rich boyfriend
✓ Figure out what I want to do with my life


Keep reading if you like to hear people ranting.

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Genius
Monday, October 29, 2012,
Sup people, lately haven't been posting mostly because my life is pretty boring. *o*

Recently, there have been THOUSANDS (ok, i am exaggerating) of U-kiss photos uploaded because of GURUPOP SHOW. So I have always as usual always uploaded many pictures of U-kiss onto instagram, mainly because it is like twitter where twitter is where you express yourself in words rather than pictures.

So there was this guy who I had known recently who isn't a fan of K-pop.. I respect people's decision, but I hate it when non-k-pop-lovers look at people like me, (the k-pop lovers) and think that they are so much better than us, and how they are not "following trends". and shit.
It doesn't mean that people become k-pop lovers because of trends.

Well, maybe in some way or the other, your peers influence you to become a k-pop fan. But it really annoys me when non-k-pop-lovers (super long name wtf) look at me with a disgusted face going "Oh, k-pop lover,again" .

There was once, when a girl whom I just met ask me what do I listen to and when I replied "K-pop" and she replied " Eew"  . She fucking eew-ed me



no, seriously. You don't see K-pop fans going
"what the hell? you listen to C-pop?!"  or
"Eew (inserts english singer name) is so gay/slutty"
NO, right? YOU DON'T .
WE DO NOT INSULT YOU JUST BECAUSE YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC WAS DIFFERENT FROM US.
And I am talking about the majority of non-k-pop-lovers. Majority. ok.

Just for your fucking information I was a K-pop fan waaaayy before it became "too mainstream".
Fuck you alright. K-pop have their own place in the world, if you can't respect it, SHUT THE FUCK UP about it.
If you think you are being "unique" or "special" because apparently all your friends are k-poppers while you're not, you are just plain stupid. Not all K-poppers only listens to K-pop songs. We appreciate good music even in a different language. Unlike you, who is missing out on all the fun. Whatever.

I am just saying you have the right to your taste in music and we have the rights to listen to songs that "we don't even understand the language".
Speaking of which, my friend once told me she doesn't listen to K-pop because she had no idea what they are singing and they might be singing about porn, sex or rape. Oh please, save that for your songs that is within your language boundaries singing too many songs about porn or sex or rape which makes you ASSUME that K-pop does the same. And FYI, there is something called ENGLISH SUBTITLES. Genius.



FANACCOUNT – 121019 GUERRILLA DATE
Tuesday, October 23, 2012,
 Oh my gosh ! This fan account >< !!

(by @Reeny721)

OMG OMG so I had the best weekend ever with TVXQ this weekend. First of all, there was Guerrilla Date. The original shooting time was scheduled to be on October 12 which is my birthday! So I was so excited! But then it got canceled :( but I still got to see them up close that day so I was happy. Changmin noticed me when they walked up to the camera to talk to the fans. Hehe.
Anyway, the next week, the 19th they decided to shoot for Guerrilla Date again. I missed the morning one because I was waiting for KBS Music Bank and most fans didn’t really know about it T^T so I was sad. But the staff at KBS told us where the filming location is for the night. So of course we went there. The location was Haneul Park (Sky Park) and it’s a mountain. My friends and I climbed to the top of the mountain and waited and waited and finally they arrived! They were so amazingly handsome omg. I was standing right next to them, it actually felt like too close for comfort tbh. Even though the location was supposed to be a secret it was extremely crowded and dangerous again.
Ok so fast forward, the MC was picking people and everyone was raising their hands. I figured I’ll give it a try so I shyly raised my hand. The MC ended up picking me and I was so lskdflsjfdlsdfj. When I walked towards the boys they were like OHHHH in recognition. I guess they know me by now because I went to every American concertand was at the front and see them every weekend here from close up as well. Andbecause I’m not an East Asian fan it’s kind of obvious OTL.
I was so nervous. I can’t even begin to describe. I looked at them as I walked towards them and had to look away. Yunho was smiling so sweetly T_T I could calm down a bit because of his gentle and warm eyes. The MC asked me in English where I’m from but I decided to make it easy for him and answer in Korean. He asked my why I’m in Korea and which song I like. I said I like Catch Me and he told me to sing. And I was like “no!” Haha. Too embarrassing. He asked to do a different song and I was like “keep your head dooown” lol! YH and CM were like AH, OH at everything I said, maybe to encourage my about to die self. They repeated Keep Your Head Down to the camera and did the hand motion which I did with them awkwardly.
After that the MC asked me something about their dreams or something but I was out of it and didn’t catch what he said exactly. So I was like… “I don’t know Korean too well T^T” So he told the boys to ask me in English. They looked at each other and CM looked at me and was like… “What is your question?” *scream* His english is SO SEXY! I asked them when they will come to America. Yunho answered professionally, “We are starting are world tour this year. Next year we will make a stop to America.” *flail*
American Cassies get ready! The MC asked if I would go and I said “Yep!” The boys were smiley about that. Then MC said shake their hands and my face was literally O_OI looked at Yunho’s hand and then his face to see if it’s ok. His face is just so kind so I reached for his hand. His hands are soooo soft. I didn’t want just a handshake tho so I kind of leaned in for a hug but was embarrassed and didn’t fully hug lol. Then I went over to Changmin and he had that shy smile of his. Omg I will never get over that “trying not to smile” smile of his. I shook his hand too and leaned in a bit for a half hug thing and he laughed. It was even more embarrassing with Min because he’s always embarrassed and shy. After that I kind of ran off because I was so lksdjflksdjflkj over the experience.
Changmin was really attentive towards fans on this day. He saw me raise my hand before I was picked and he also saw me earlier moving a bit because security was yelling at everyone. He also looked so worried when some girls next to me fell a few times. He’s really the sweetest boy T_T And Yunho… so caring. If he hadn’t looked at me in that “You can do it” way I would have just not breathed and fainted on the spot lol!
My friends keep asking me how they smell. I can’t really describe how they smell because that’s hard to do but… they do smell good. Manly. Sweet. I’m not sure. And their hands are really soft! Like really, really soft! They are slender as well. Their hands are feminine in a good way. And yeah when I hugged them… their chests… well… I’m dead.
So TVXQ is really going to America for a world tour stop?!

Credits: Reeny721
Shared by: babyredocean.wordpress.com

My god !
Sunday, October 21, 2012,
I found my old playlists !!

These songs are songsI listen to before I became a hardcore K-popper. wahahha



Going Crazy
Tuesday, October 16, 2012,


I have been in despair over the past few weeks and I don't know who is snappy enough to bring back the optimism in me. I know it isn't legit to talk about it here but since this is my blog, this is where I express my sensitivities, I think, therefore, it is justifiable. I wouldn't wanna make this entry to sound or look harsh. Also, I don't want to blab about a situation that others just wouldn't understand. Lesson learned? Hope but don't expect.

Sometimes, it just baffles me how people can judge others just within minutes of knowing the other person. You don't know what made them do something, or what made them who they are, and you just start to blabber nonsense about them. As though you know everything. It just isn't right for you to act like a bitch, even though you don't know you are acting like one. I just don't like to explain things to people who randomly jumps to stupid and (obviously) a very wrong conclusion about myself or my actions, because I'm just super tired of all the drama around me and I realised that I don't really give a shit to how you think of me anymore. It just pisses me off sometimes when I realised that this is just human nature -- jumping to conclusions. And that, even I, myself, is guilty for. I will remember this whenever I pass comments about people I don't really know.

Ps. I am so obsessed with jieun these days.
People
Monday, October 15, 2012,


It's cute when someone expresses their feelings.
When they worry about you. When they miss you. When they show they care.
It's cute and it's attractive.
We don't want to be the only ones that show how they feel.
Actions always speak louder than words.
Sensitivity to others not only shows maturity, but it also appeals to us because we want others to tell us when they're worried, when they miss us, and when they care.

It feels good to have someone like that by your side.
Culture of New Zealand
Sunday, October 14, 2012,
The culture of New Zealand is largely inherited from British and European custom, interwoven with Maori and Polynesian tradition.

Māori culture has predominated for most of New Zealand's history of human habitation. Māori voyagers reached the islands of New Zealand some time before 1300, though exact dates are uncertain. Over the ensuing centuries of Māori expansion and settlement, Māori culture diverged from its Polynesian roots. Māori established separate tribes, built fortified villages (Pā), hunted and fished, traded commodities, developed agriculture, arts and weaponry, and kept a detailed oral history. Regular European contact began approximately 200 years ago, and British immigration proceeded rapidly during the nineteenth century.

New Zealand marks two national days of remembrance, Waitangi Day and ANZAC Day, and also celebrates holidays during or close to the anniversaries of the founding dates of each province. The national anthem, "God Defend New Zealand" is often sung with alternating Māori and English verses. Many citizens prefer to minimize ethnic divisions, simply calling themselves New Zealanders or Kiwis.

The two main cultures of New Zealand is the Maori Culture and the Pākehā culture (New Zealand European)

 Maori Culture
Central to many cultural events is the marae, where families and tribes gather for special occasions, such as pōwhiri or tangi.

Tangi is a traditional Māori funeral ritual.

An example of Hongi above
Powhiri is a welcoming ceremony involving speeches, dancing, singing and finally the hongi.
Hongi is used at traditional meetings among Māori people and on major ceremonies and serves a similar purpose to a formal handshake in modern western culture


The distinct values, history, and worldview of Maori are expressed through traditional arts and skills such as carving, weaving, and the performance of art.

Europeans migrated to New Zealand in increasing numbers from the late 18th century, and the weapon technologies and diseases they introduced destabilised Māori society. After 1840, Māori lost much of their land and mana (prestige and authority), entering a period of cultural and numerical decline. However their population began to increase again from the late 19th century, and a cultural revival began in the 1960s, sometimes known as the Maori Renaissance.

 Pākehā culture
Pākehā culture (usually synonymous with New Zealand European) derives mainly from that of the British settlers who colonized New Zealand in the nineteenth century. Although it is recognisably related to British culture, it has always had distinct differences, and these have increased as time has gone on.Within Pākehā culture are sub-cultures derived from Irish, Italian and other European groups, as well as various non-ethnic subcultures.

New Zealand has three official languages: New Zealand English, Te Reo Māori (the Māori language), and New Zealand Sign Language.

ANZAC day
Anzac Day marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War. The acronym ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps, whose soldiers were known as Anzacs. Anzac Day remains one of the most important national occasions of both Australia and New Zealand,  a rare instance of two sovereign countries not only sharing the same remembrance day, but making reference to both countries in its name.





Waitangi Day 
commemorates a significant day in the history of New Zealand. It is a public holiday held each year on 6 February to celebrate the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, New Zealand's founding document, on that date in 1840.

The Treaty made New Zealand a part of the British Empire, guaranteed Māori rights to their land and gave Māori the rights of British subjects.

Prime Minister Helen Clark being welcomed  in West Auckland, Waitangi Day 2006

Annual commemorations of the treaty signing began in 1947. The 1947 event was a Royal New Zealand Navy ceremony centering on a flagpole which the Navy had paid to erect in the grounds. The ceremony was brief and featured no Māori. The following year, a Māori speaker was added to the line-up, and subsequent additions to the ceremony were made nearly every year. From 1952, the Governor General attended, and from 1958 the Prime Minister also attended, although not every year. From the mid-1950s, a Māori cultural performance was usually given as part of the ceremony. Many of these early features remain a part of Waitangi Day ceremonies, including a naval salute, the Māori cultural performance (now usually a ceremonial welcome), and speeches from a range of Māori and Pākehā dignitaries.

In 1963, after a change in government, Waitangi Day was substituted for Auckland Anniversary Day as the provincial holiday in Northland.


Source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_New_Zealand


Woes
Friday, October 12, 2012,
About the recent quarrel I had with Shin, I am tired of people asking me , thru SMS, facebook or even twitter.
You want to know, I am not afraid to say. 
I am just tired of explaining the same. freaking. things, over and over, again and again. 
Because it is very painful for me to think about it, let alone talking about it. 

So people have different types or groups of friends.
I have my gaming friends (which is where shin is)
My secondary school clique, My ITE clique, my pubbing friends etc. etc.

Recently, my pubbing friends showed me something which wasn't bad, but demeaning about me.
Which was tweeted/SMS-ed/facebook published by my gaming friend Annabel Yeo. 

If you could still call her a friend by now.. LOL

Of course I was mad, shocked, sad and very very pissed.
So I sms-ed shin who was studying for his exams. (do I look like I gave a damn?) 
It was not full of vulgarities, but it wasn't nice either.
I was angry, angry people do stupid stuffs.
I know that is not an excuse, but I blog to vent my frustrations, not to get your understanding. 

Later, Shin did not reply, and Annabel smsed me trying to "clarify"
I know what I saw, ok. 

the conversation was more of my being a bitch and she "apologising".
It went something like
Me : You know what you did
Her : What I do??? ):
Me : Forget it
Her: So is it a misunderstanding?
Me: No, it's not
Her: Sorry ..... if I had done anything wrong
Me : No, you are not sorry. 

Actually, I was really being mean, but I deleted everything so I am not really sure how to be mean again, since I really don't give a fuck so much now. 

So I thought it was nothing liao mah, actually, I really don't care what shit she said behind my back.
I still treat her as a friend, because what she says may be demeaning, it is not purposefully intended to make me look bad. 

Suddenly I received ONE WHOLE CHUNK of shit from Shin via whatsapp,
demanding I "produce" evidence, and saying that there are "thousands" of Annabel Yeo.
He is fucking suggesting that I am wrongly accusing Annabel. 
Do I look like a stupid blonde bitch accusing people of something that they didn't do without factual evidence?
If it had been someone else, I wouldn't have been so angry.
But no, of all people it had to be LUM ZI SHIN.
The guy who I treat as my younger brother.
The guy who I care for dearly.
The guy who I can do a lot of things for and give up many stuff for. 

I am not saying he owes me or what.
I am just saying it hurts me because shin is someone who matters a lot to me.

It's like random people coming up to you telling you they hate you is not much as painful than your parents wishing they never had you.

What he suggested is that I am wrongly accusing Annabel without proof. Bitch please, you think I nothing to do wanna go around accusing people of defaming me?
 What I am angry is him for not trusting me. Annabel tell you that she never say anything about me you believe her, den come and scold me?
How long have you known me, how long have you known that slut?
Even without Annabel in the issue, Shin has never trusted at all.

 I take pride in being fucking loyal to my peers, and I am not about to be regarded like a loose two-faced bitch, alright?

Kun called, the next day.
I didn't want to blow up the matter, I just told Kun I didn't want to be associated with Shin any longer.
And that night, Kun conferenced us, and I said everything I had to say.
Vented all my frustrations.
I told Shin I am not angry anymore, just hurt, dissapointed and abit bruised.
I also did say that once the phone is hunged up, I am in no way associated to him.
Don't come to me when you have a problem
Don't think about me when you need help.
Don't read my tweets, my blog, my facebook statuses.
Because as far as I am concerned you no longer exists.

Also, Kun asked me if I will forgive shin and be friends once more because he will.

I honestly don't know. Not now at least...

But in a few years time, who knows?
Spams
Sunday, October 7, 2012,
I don't know why I am so pissed lately.
It's like everyone is finding a fault with me. - not that I don't have faults I just don't like it when people assumes that I have to do whatever I want to at their convenience.

i don't live to please you. And I sure as hell didn't force you to accept me for who I am neither judge me for what I do and the decisions I make.

Sometimes I just want to lash out at people. - especially those assholes who thinks I owe them something.
I don't know why some people think they even matter to me. They like to come up to me telling me how the fuck I haven't been spending time with them. And moping around as if I am obliged to hang out with them.

Yea, speaking of which, there was this guy I met through a friend and we exchanged numbers . So today I had work and he wanted to meet me out so I was like. I can't la. Den guess what he reply?
"Haish, u dn wan just say dn want la. Haish no one wana meet me I so sad. ): "
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE SMSED ME OK.
What the fuckk? So what if I don't want? Who the fuck are you? At most you are just an acquaintance. No one want to meet you, your taiji la? You tell me for fuck? I really really hate guys like this, whiney little bastards. I wonder how the hell did they even get to live for so long. Zzz.
He is not the first guy I met that is like this ok. Seriously .

I know I sound like a bitch. But sometimes I just don't want to act like a nice person. In fact, I don't act nice at all. Why should I? Who the hell you think you are?
It's not like you are that type of friend that I want to keep by my side.
Sometimes people just have to learn to know their own self worth. 自知自明. Don't overestimate your importance to someone else. Coz in the end, you might not even be anything at all.

And then those that I keep close to my heart is always stabbing it with a knife. Lol. Fuck you all.
To The Beautiful You
Tuesday, October 2, 2012,
Lately I have been watching "to the beautiful you".
Many of my friend's never watch it coz it is the korean remake of the famous Japan manga "Hana Kimi".
I have read Hana Kimi, like what, 10 years ago when I was a manga fanatic?
I didn't watch the Japanese version because I hate it when my manga turns into an anime or a real life story and they just MUSH UP THE FUCKING STORYLINE!!
and I only watched 3 episodes of the Taiwan version by Wuchun and Ella.

I was really into f(x) especially Sulli after "Electric Shock" .
I mean, I like f(x) since "NuABO" but I am not super crazy about them. ( I am not crazy now either) .
It's just that I will pay more attention to them after I heard "Electric Shock".
And I don't really hate or dislike Minho, I just like Jonghyun in SHINee only.
Only Jonghyun - that was why I didn't became a Shawol.- LOL.
So decided to catch up to the world and watch at least a full version of Hana Kimi.
Ok I lied, I wana see Minho and Sulli kiss. rofls.

Favourite quote in the show:
Miracle is another name for effort ~ By Kang Tae Joon (Minho)
I really fell in love with an OST and decided to search it up!
OHMAHHGODDD It is by Jessica and Krystal *faint*
I like Jessica in SNSD since forever. The rest.. MEH. No interest.
Except when Taetiseo came out and I jump ship to Taefany. (Taeyeon & Tifanny)
Btw, I know Jessica and Krystal contributed to an OST in "To the beautiful you" I just didn't expect that it is so fucking awesome . LOL
Below is "Butterfly" by Jessica and Krystal


My second favourite OST in the drama is ~~~~
"It's Me" by Sunny and Luna.
Who da hell is Sunny???
Ok I googled, that's Sunny from SNSD. kekeke
Anyway here is the song.


Ah the drama is daeeebakkk.
And Kwanghee made it even more awesome.
Here is one of the many funny Kwanghee scene.

HAHAHA. Sorry I find Kwanghee scenes funny, but when I show to my friends, they say not funny TT^TT
I show my emotions on my face and through body language easily.
So.... yeah whatever *roll eyes* I enjoy can liao .

OMG. I totally love this couple pairing!!
They are so cute together! & Minho called Sulli by her name in the show (Goo Jae Hee)
Video below.


It is super nice ok!!
Watch full episode with eng subbed here.
www.mykimchidrama.net

Sorry for spams but I will feel bad if I don't share this show with you guys...
I forgot Hana Kimi's ending since I read it so many years ago, so i'm super looking forward to the ending!
No spoilers pleaseeee. kekeke.



TVXQ - I swear.
Monday, October 1, 2012,


This song is so....!!! 
FYI, this song was written by Max Changmin himself ( at least the lyrics)
He dedicated this to CASSIOPEIAs

My god, I have never cried so much for any other idol group after I started becoming a KissMe.
It's like I neglected TVXQ after I started this crazy frenzy for U-kiss
I still love U-kiss of coz ... It's just that....
I didn't think properly when I said I prefer U-kiss more than TVXQ.
Which was when I declared that I'm a "pure".
But I am not... I'm still, forever and always a KissMe and Cassie....

I really don't know how some people can just leave a fandom...
I left a whole chunk of my heart with TVXQ..
And now, it's just throbbing in pain...

Of coz I've never forgotten, changminnie...
How could I have forgotten how much I love you? 

Oh my god.. Eli... 
SAVEEE MEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh, btw, if you think this is nothing at all go bang a wall.
Changmin is known to be (kinda) very evil to fans.
So this means a lot to me as a cassie.
If you are unhappy with me fan-girling apparently over "just a song"

ffs. eat shit and die k.

 Lyrics : (partial)
Seeing your smile towards me was an unfamiliar scenery
I finally lifted my head to calling of your lips
It was blidingly bright
I finally saw you
Even after a long time
Your familiar face still is dearly precious to me
Did you not hate me
For I was not even able to say a word like “Thank You”
Because I was shy
Like a fool I took your love for granted
Because I got used to it
I only have heartful of apologies
Even after a long time
Your familiar face still is dearly precious to me
Did you not hate me
For I was not even able to say a word like “Thank You”
Because I was shy
Even when darkness draws near
Love U baby I love U

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