Anyway, I just noticed that there’s a lot of things that I want, but then wanting and doing it is so totally different and I just don’t have the self-discipline to do it. Otteoke?? I am like, 20 years old, 91kg and super lazy…. Oh and balding. WTFFMLASDFGHJKL

I mean it’s no use always sitting at my office desk, reading up 101 ways to lose weight(it’s not 101 ways, it just sounded nice so I put it there rofls)

Btw, those of you who are curious and clicking my Instagram link to see what I look like and thinking Not so bad what

I thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. But photos are deceiving.  How many applications out there for girls to twerk their face shape, or eye shape hmm? Especially all those picture of my selca (Korean equivalent to selfies)

I didn’t twerk my eyes , nose or face shape la. But I am in case you didn’t read the first paragraph, I’m 91Kg. I get super depressed coz my sister is super pretty la and my parents or relatives kept saying me and my sister used to look like twins. Damn depressing la…. It’s one thing to be born ugly regardless of your weight, height or skin condition. You are born ugly because of your facial features which, you cannot alter (unless you go for plastic surgery) but its another thing all together when you see your mom is actually super chio in wedding pictures and your sis looks exactly as chio as you but because you are fat, therefore you are ugly and unattractive.

The first being you can’t become pretty without spending tons of money on plastic surgery and the second being, me. Who just have to control my diet, exercise and stop drinking KOI or any sweet drinks to become pretty. It’s like so damn simple right? No need spend money, and actually save money when you don’t buy like, extra portions or soft drinks when you go out for lunch.

By the way, because I am fat or overweight, theres a lot of negative things that are caused because of this obesity.

1) I snore and so-called “choke” in my sleep coz the fats in my body is clogging up my whatever system inside my body la. So I don’t get good sleep because I wake up 2 – 3 times a night.
2) I also almost always have abrasion when I walk too long distance because I have fat thighs and they cause friction when I walk.
3) My doctor told me I am balding coz I have oily scalp because I always eat oily stuff (wtf right? Who knew it would be linked!)
4) I have irregular menstrual cycles. I can not have my period for 2 months and have it 2 times in the 3^rd month (that’s like, 14 days wtf). It happens because I am obese.
5) I cannot wear all my pretty high heels I used to damn love coz I am so fat now my feet and knees actually hurt like a 60 year old woman. (and I’m only 20)
6) My hair is oily therefore my skin is oily , which causes breakouts and big ass pores on my face like mini moh peng.

I cannot think of anything else liao, but of course I can’t buy nice clothes, I can’t fit into most clothes I buy online etc etc. But I am not so superficial la. Sure, its sad that I can’t wear a dress I like when I see it but it’s not as depressing as when I have a body which is in worse condition than my mom. I mean, of course it hurts when people say I look like the mother when I’m out with my mom la (My mom is 150cm and 55kg). But the health aspect is really eating at me and I am still so lethargic about everything!!

Just yesterday, I bought KOI, convincing myself that it’s just a cup and I hadn’t had one in 2 weeks. When I regretted immediately after taking the first sip. But I still finished the whole drink coz its like $4.90 a cup! Imagine how much money I can save if I also stop all this junk food indulgent?

Like my parents always say, no one can help you except yourself.. I hope I have the self-discipline though… Really.